I had a private admiration for him since I was seventeen. He was in a serious relationship, but I could have sworn he had noticed me. I wondered if he had room for me too, until I saw his girlfriend. Though I only saw her in squares, I understood why he was with her. I abandoned my disrespectful thoughts, stopped looking good for him, stopped thinking about him before I would fall asleep. I only saw him when he would attend my presentations, and our only dialogue comprised of his criticism and my acknowledgement of it. It felt like his validation was just out of reach